Quotes from
The Addams Family (1991)
Gomez:
We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.
[Wednesday is hooking up an electric chair]
Wednesday: Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: Because we're going to play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: [strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"
Pugsley: Are they dead?
Wednesday: Does it matter?
Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
Gomez: That's the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!
[Watching Pugsley sleep]
Morticia: He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree.
Morticia: Children, what are you doing?
Wednesday: I'm going to electrocute him.
Morticia: But we're late for the charity auction.
Wednesday: But, Mother...
Morticia: I said no.
Pugsley: Pleeaaaase?
Morticia: Oh, all right.
Morticia: Thing, you're a handful.
Morticia: Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.
Wednesday: Please pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: NOW.
Morticia: Wednesday, play with your food!
Gomez: How long has it been since we waltzed?
Morticia: Oh, Gomez... hours.
Gomez: They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And with God as my witness, I am that fool!
Gomez: 2, 10, 11. Eyes, fingers, toes!
Morticia: Gomez, last night - you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. - Do it again!
Dr. Pinderschloss: The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill.
Grandmama: Even with a chain saw!
Dr. Pinderschloss: Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no?
Gomez: I did not hate my mother. It was an accident!
[as they examine a rare and valueable heirloom Morticia is about to donate to charity]
Grandmama: Let's keep it!
Morticia: Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.
[Looking for something in a closet]
Morticia: Uncle Nick-Nack's winter wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack's summer wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack.
Morticia: Margaret, about the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez. I'm terribly worried about him. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood.
Margaret: He coughs up blood?
Morticia: Well, not like he used to.
Wednesday: I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.
Margaret: Everyone keeps asking where he got his costume.
Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.
Grandmama: Dinner's gonna be late.
[goes outside]
Grandmama: Here, boy! Here, boy!
Sally Jessy Raphael: So, you say your son was kidnapped by voodoo witch doctors? Let's take a call.
Gomez: Hello, Sally?
Sally Jessy Raphael: Mr. Addams, please stop calling! We do not know where they meet!
Morticia: Gomez, let's go for a drive. The whole family.
Gomez: A drive? And miss Gilligan?
Uncle Fester: Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone before?
Wednesday: He's only a child.
Uncle Fester: That's no excuse. Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
Gomez: [watching home movies] You remember that fateful night?
Uncle Fester: Um... Your first cigar!
Gomez: What? Come on, Old Man, I've smoked since I was 5. Mother insisted.
Margaret: This is always so embarrassing. Why did I marry you?
Tully Alfford: Because I said yes.
Judge: [after a golf ball is hit through his window] Damn you, Addams!
Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full.
Judge: You moron!
[Pugsley is strapped to a pole, mumbling urgently around an apple in his mouth]
Wednesday: Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.
[She levels a crossbow]
Grandmama: [steps inside] Dinner's gonna be late.
[heads outside]
Grandmama: Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!
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