Stewardess:
Can I get you anything to drink?
Clark Griswold:
Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke.
Stewardess:
Do you want that in the can?
Clark Griswold:
No, I'll have it right here.
[In Germany; Clark peers down at a village in the hills and tears come to his eyes]
Clark Griswold:
There it is, kids, Mom's home.
Rusty Griswold:
Dad, Grandma is from Chicago.
Clark Griswold:
Shut up, Russ.
[In England]
Ellen Griswold:
Clark, you're on the wrong side of the road.
Clark Griswold:
Yes I know, honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
Clark Griswold:
Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works.
Audrey Griswold:
What does she do?
Clark Griswold:
She queens. And she vacuums.
Clark Griswold:
[singing] Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold/this shit's been around for a very long time.
Ellen Griswold:
Look back there!
Clark Griswold:
Yeah, it's a hooker...
Ellen Griswold:
Look who she's with!
[Clark looks back, Rusty is with the hooker]
Rusty Griswold:
Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?
Clark Griswold:
That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.
[In England Rusty sees a man with a punk Mohawk haircut]
Rusty Griswold:
That's it! That's what I want my hair to look like dad!
Clark Griswold:
Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you?
Clark Griswold:
There's the left bank kids. I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.
Rusty Griswold:
The Bank of America.
[In Germany Clark is looking for their relatives house]
Clark Griswold:
What are we looking for?
Audrey Griswold:
Sex dad.
Clark Griswold:
That'll do Audrey.
Rusty Griswold:
Dad that's German for six.
[Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper]
Clark Griswold:
Get in.
Rusty Griswold:
What Happened?
Audrey Griswold:
Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.
Ellen Griswold:
Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?
Clark Griswold:
Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.
Clark Griswold:
Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament.